reductionism.

Two posts ago I wrote about my dream to have a nomadic life.. Where I could move to different places every few years, to experience new lives and new things..well it is still a dream but I wouldn't put my whole focus on making it come true as it will only bring stress. If it's gonna happen, I'll let it happen naturally.. I keep my faith.

Now I'll write about something that somewhat related to the nomadic life.. It's something I'm excited about. I have read some articles about 'minimalism' in living, and strongly interested in doing it.
In fashion, the person who claims to be a minimalist fashion enthusiast could have piles and piles of clothes and stuff in their closet (usually identified with monochrome or basics). The 'mantra' is black-white-nude-(and sometimes denim)-repeat. But it doesn't mean that they don't shop a lot or had become a fashion victim in some way.

While minimalism in living is when we practice minimalism in a broader and deeper sense. Owning less stuff is the key. Consumerism is the enemy.
Normally we are prone to buy a lot of stuff which are often we don't really need, and they end up piling up in our storage room. The habit of buying more and more stuff will create the need to have a bigger house, which also means bigger amount of bills, loans and expenses. And when we finally get a bigger house, we will want to fill it up with new stuff we like. It's a deadly circle and it has no end (especially humans are creatures with hunger and endless wants). Consumerism won't do good to our finance and it certainly won't make us into better human beings..or more importantly happier human beings.

Having moved to Bali recently has made me realized something... All the stuff I own and left at my home town, I can't even remember them. It made me thinking how insignificant they actually are. All those money I spent, now are left piled up, forgotten...become junks.
This made me really eager to adopt this minimalism life style. Although because I'm a fashion enthusiast, practicing this life style can become tricky, but it isn't impossible. I only need to learn to spend my money more wisely. The thing is, we already have what we need (primary needs), what's left is to control our wants.

Nowadays I learn to reduce my unnecessary possessions. When it comes to buying fashion related stuff (or things that I know I don't really need but often buy impulsively), I really limit myself. I start with telling myself that I'm allowed to buy new stuff once every 6 months.
"Buy less, choose well", that's my mantra when shopping now. I personally think it is better to buy stuff with long lasting good quality (even if it means a bit more expensive) once in a long while, than to keep buying cheap stuff that won't last long (which can only triggers us to keep shopping).
And with my outfits, I can get creative mixing and matching things that I already have. With one piece of clothing, I can create so many different outfit styles.

I believe that practicing minimalism will definitely change my life in a positive way...and lead to the happier life. Why? Because now with the money we have, we can manage it for better purposes such as investments, business and our future. And with the extra money, we can spend it on more enriching and definitely more valuable EXPERIENCES and activities/hobbies than on the endless amount of stuff we buy that will only become worthless junks.

To practice this is not easy, but I know it will be worth it. Own less stuff, have more experiences! Especially if someday my dream of having a nomadic life comes true, this life style will definitely be perfect :)

  

outfit: Mango blazer, Supre harem pants, H&M lace bra, Diva body jewelery & bracelets, ASOS monk shoes

nomadic.

You.Only.Live.Once is a very popular phrase. And it has also been my life motto ever since I knew it. Scream 'YOLO' in my mind, and it can automatically be a powerful trigger for me to do things outside of comfort zone. But for me the phrase doesn't stop right there..it should be 'YOLO, do whatever it is you want as long as it's good for you and doesn't hurt others'. That has been a rule I live by, now and forever.

And knowing that I am only gifted one life, it made me become greedy. I want to experience A LOT of things! Things I haven't done and seen before. As many as I possibly can. I want to experience any kind of emotions in this world...sadness, grief, regret, excitement, love, heartbreak, happiness..the highs and lows..anything. It makes me feel real and complete as a person.

In terms of life, one of my wildest dreams is to lead a nomadic life. The civilized style of nomadic of course. Move from one place to other place every few years. Continuously experience many different lives in many different places, know and see more things, keep changing and polish myself to be a better human being.
To me it's such a waste to spend your life being settled in one place when we have the whole world to see. I believe in keep moving until we find that one place that makes us feel we belong there. Where we can finally settle down and grow our family tree and THEN live a normal life like the rest would do.
Ooh..a girl can dream right?

As for now, we just moved our life to Bali. It's the third move for me (and I heard everyone should move at least 5 times in their life haha). Life is good here, but I know this place won't be our last stop. I don't want to spend my forever-after here. There's still a looonggg way to go.. This is just another start in the whole journey.

outfit: H&M satin lace camisole in blush color, mom's vintage pants, Charles & Keith white leather with gold + wood heels.

soigne.

As we get older, our preferences on things tend to slightly change. We like anything that are simpler, easy and we put comfort on top of everything else.
That is what happened to me when talking about my personal taste in style. I used to love heavy layerings, accessorizing, bold colors, fun prints, etc.
But now, probably because my life as an adult is already complicated enough (lol), I don't want to add another complication in my brain regarding what I should wear.
Now I always seek simplicity, versatility, quality and of course comfort when choosing/buying outfit. I look for timeless pieces. And it doesn't have to be so expensive (cannot stress it enough that I am a budget shopper), for now I can only afford middle-up class prices in buying things :D
Even though they are simple, they have to be soigne.

 

Like this silky culottes jumpsuit, it feels REALLY comfortable. Makes me feel light, pretty and flirty haha.. This is perfect for a girls day out or casual brunch dates.

This is actually a feminine piece, would be perfect with some pretty strap heels. But for this one I chose to borrow my sister's booties as it feels more comfortable and more like myself :)

outfit: Forever New blush/nude culottes jumpsuit, Michael Kors watch, Topshop suede ankle boots, Rubi sunnies, Revlon cocoa wine creme lipstick.

rockmantic.

Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

This is the time when you can get cheesy all you want with your loved ones :)

What's your Valentine Day tradition? As for me, my hubby and I started this routine where on Valentine's Day we would go to cinema and watch a particularly romantic comedy or drama or chicflick only..and then we keep and collect the movie tickets from each year's Valentine's Day. It's been around 5 years since we did it the first time.

Today we're supposed to watch that highly anticipated love movie; 50 Shades of Grey *oohh..*

BUT, for some obvious reason and because this country where I live is really 'open minded' (notice the strong sarcasm there? lol), the cinemas here don't have it.. So we obviously will watch something else.

So here's the tribute to that 50 Shades of Grey haha.. My gray romantic Valentine style with a touch of rock and roll with the body jewellery...hence Rockmantic. :P

outfit: Valleygirl snake print maxi dress, Diva body jewellery & bangle, h&m rings, New Look cutout boots 

sophrosyne.

First of all, I am sorry for what I am about to write here is not something enthusiastic like how it supposed to be when you do your first post in a new year. This is something more like a reflection or introspection...soul searching.
I want to share what's been going on with me these few years, and I'll do my best not to make it sound too depressing and ruin your new year spirit, hehe..

Every human being is in a journey to find the genuine happiness in their lives. The pursuit of happiness, they say.
Being completely honest, I haven't been genuinely happy for these past few years. It's like you're sick, but you don't know what it is that makes you sick, all you feel is just misery. No matter how great things going in your life, you feel that something is always missing. And it's killing me. So I started my pursuit of happiness.

I tried so many things to heal myself. I tried to talk to other people (including my hubby) about what I've been really feeling, their reactions were all the same...that in their eyes, there is nothing to worry about in my life. If my life is really fine, then why do I feel like I am dying inside. Deep down my heart knows that it is not just fine.
Talking to other people did not help at all. Instead it makes me feel more lonely because only then I realized that not even my husband understands me.

Along these years, I have also practiced the "fake it until you make it" rule. I thought if I appeared happy in front of others, the happy energy would eventually be real if I do it from time to time. It worked for a while, but after that I came back to the miserable hole again when I'm alone.
I have been searching by myself what is it that make me unhappy or happy, I've been trying to find the answer, hoping that if I could determine those two, I could finally be clear of what I should do to fix this miserable situation I've been coping with by myself.
So when the misery kicked in again, I tried different way today. I let myself be completely and comfortably alone at home without any distractions from anything and anyone. I let my mind go crazy and think whatever it wanted to think about. Then I started to break down the things that have been clogging my head all these while.

I thought I am unhappy because of the crisis that my family has been struggling with, or because I didn't achieve some goals, or because some things didn't go as how I carefully planned...but apparently they weren't the case.
So I tried to recall to when I found myself the happiest. And my thoughts went straight to 6 years ago when I came to Melbourne. At first I thought that it is merely because of the place that made me the happiest, but then I went deeper in the memory lane..

In my first years in Melbourne I wasn't loaded with money, I wasn't a person with plans, I was nobody with limited friends, but I was surely genuinely happy. I had my own job, it wasn't something big at all but I earned my own money and I built my own relationships and friendship with people. I lived with my boyfriend (who is now my husband), but we made our own living separately and independently.
And suddenly it hit me, the answer is that. The fact that I wasn't financially dependent on anyone else gave me the ultimate sense of freedom and made me the happiest. That I could make my own choices without compromising. That people got to know and like me solely based on my own being, without having to wear a mask. My life was happily balanced on those first two years in Melbourne. I realized I missed that.

Those were the things that could make me feel alive and very content...and I lost them slowly since we came back to Indo.
In here, people wouldn't be interested to get to know only me without being related to Andre. From Agnes, I became Andre's Agnes...and especially after we got married, I became Andre's wife. I feel like I don't have my own identity, my true self to show.
In the beginning, we decided to make a living together here, not individually.. And I didn't realize that it was a big mistake. Lots of compromising in the photography thingy we do together got me frustrated, so I slowly stepped back and gave full trust on him, and now I am financially dependent on him...and it is bad for me. Soon I will become nobody, really.

Having gone through all those life process, it became clearer to me that what everyone needs or craves to achieve happiness is totally different one from another. What seem ideal for majority of people, might not be even close to ideal for some others.
The best we can do (and what works for me) is pull yourself back from the world for a while, let your mind think clearly of what you really want in life. Try to understand yourself much deeper and find what are the things that can really make you happy. Don't let majority's opinion cloud your own judgement towards what you feel best for you.

All of us have been tricked into thinking that we will be happy if we have money, if we live in a nice house or city, if we have many friends, if we are married, if we have this and that and so on...while the true answer is the other way around.
We can be a success if we are happy, we can love others if we are happy, we can be a good partner if we are happy, we can do and be many things if we are happy. You basically can be a much better person if you are happy. Happiness is the key to everything.
Who you are, where you live, and what situation you are dealing with does not affect your happiness...because happiness is a state of mind. It sounds easy but it's been hard as hell for me to control my very own mind.

As a person, I have changed so much. I am far away from the person I want to become, the person that I once was 6 years ago...the person I love being. Independent free soul who can get along with people with just being herself and does not get affected by anything, with a balance between job and personal life.

Now my number one new year resolution is to go back to that girl I was before. The key is to reach the sophrosyne first..to know what I really want and I would work and shape my way based on that. Change what I must change...attempting to gain back my true happiness.

To some of you who have been experiencing the same awful process like I have, I hope this post can make your burden a little lighter. Be patient to yourself in finding your sophrosyne.

And cheers to the 2015! Let it be the year where you get your true happiness! :)

outfit: H&M turtleneck crop top, Valley Girl coat (old), Charles & Keith bag and belt, New Look boots, Michael Kors watch.