gotta admit that i haven't been in my brightest self in the last couple of years.. my unhappiness deep down reflected really obviously on everything i did, it was always right there on my face! couldn't help it no matter how hard i tried to hide it. one of my friend even wondered and said that it's almost as if i lost my charm..soul-less. there's no doubt that it was the hardest time i've ever walked through in my life.
but as we all know, wherever there is negativity..there's also standing positivity. and while i was being all round negative about life, my bf always stood beside me trying to cure me with all the positives and love he's got in his blood..and seemed like it never run out.
it's no secret that a depressed person could be nothing less than a huge pain in the ass...especially towards close people around him/her. i was no different. i hurt him with all the worst words i've ever said to a person, rejected him while all he was doing was trying to help me. i shouted at him that i couldn't stand him, when what i really meant was i couldn't stand myself.
he said he couldn't stand seeing me being so self-destructive, but there was never one time he left me alone.
he did nothing but everything he could to make me a bit happier everyday..for almost a year. looking back, i honestly have no idea how he could cope with that...with me that time.
patience was so under-rated until i saw and felt it myself through what he did.
to be honest, i've never seen such people with that kind of almost flawless attitude and energy towards life, other than him. always happy with the goofy smile and never-ending optimism on his shoulders everyday. he never gives up.. not on life, not on me. he defines persistence.
i am almost so sure that noone could ever love me as much as he does, no heart as big as his, no other human could believe in me like he does..not even myself.
and how can i say no to live forever with him when he always persists on giving me so much love despite how an awful human being i could be.. when he always aces my tests like that.. he's definitely my rock.
plaid shirt: Logo, cut-out boots: New Look